Downtime
by Try Me Hot
Summary: An expanded written scene of Ashley and Shepard's 'date' on the Citadel. Previous romance.
1. Chapter 1

Here they were, taking time off the Normandy to catch some downtime on the Citadel while they still could. It had been a heavy week for both of them, and as Ash braced her forearm on the railing, Shepard thought about the women he'd been with in the past, before Eden Prime. There'd been at least a bit of a spark with all of them—but not connections. They didn't understand his military life, not like Ash did. On the one off chance that he's survived, he knew with certainty that Ash will be one of the few that will understand him when this is all over, knowing all that he had to push through during this war, what he's _saw_, what he's _done_. He wondered if it was even remotely possible for him to open up to someone else after all this. He didn't feel confident enough to say that he could. The few people that he _could_ openly express in, were already on the Normandy, supporting him, watching his back, and he was immensely grateful for that.

His ears listened to her rabble on about her family, while his eyes stayed fixed on her form from a distance as she stood there, smiling, beauty personified in a blue and navy officers jacket. Her hair was out of that standard military bun she had always tied it up in, and it now flowed freely down and around her shoulders. She looked incredible to him.

Even after all this time spent apart. Shepard couldn't deny the fact that he never stopped caring about the woman standing a metre in front of him. He maybe could've found solace in another's arms, but he didn't want to move on and leave her behind. They shared something special. He couldn't keep her out of his mind. He was constantly thinking about her daily. He thought about her, in those last hours before the assault on the collector base. She was running through his mind in those last quiet moments, when really tactics and strategies should have been the only things occupying his thoughts.

"That sounds great, Ash. But… right now, I can't focus on anything but you."

It was the truth. She was distracting.

With a smile, Ashley crossed her arms, as the both entered another verbal sparring match.

"Well now. Those big, powerful Citadel arms giving you ideas, Commander?"

"_Maybe_."

Truthfully, Shepard hadn't _exactly_ been expecting it when Ashley suddenly dropped the playful setting for a more serious one. He assumed there was an alternate motive to her generous down-time offer. When he first read the e-mail at his terminal at the end of his shift, he sent a swift reply, and agreed to meet her here at an arranged time.

She was a warm conversation, and it would do them both some good to talk a little. They've both had to sacrifice, sweeping their personal problems and past under the carpet for the sake of their mission. As usual, and as professional as ever. He understood that they couldn't afford distractions not when so much is at stake. But she was always going to _be_ a distraction whether they talked things out in their free time or not.

For a split second, Ashley hesitated. "Well… maybe I have something to ask you."

_Here it comes_, Shepard thought. What _that _was exactly, he didn't know. With Ash it could be just about anything. He prepared himself nonetheless.

"What?"

Ashley uncrossed her arms and straightened. "Well… We had something before, a long time ago. Something important. You've seen me at my worst. _Totally_ embarrassing. You were there for me when my baby sis was suffering." Ashley head fell with guilt. "I've… held a gun on you, Shepard." She gathered her strength again and lifted her head. "I'm just saying… we've been through _a lot_. I have to know for sure, are we… official now… me and you?"

The vulnerable side to her was beautiful. Shepard made the big move, that quite possibly could have jeopardized their relationship, but it was worth it to him. She had to realize that he wanted more from her, and he wasn't going anywhere, nor was he going to settle for anybody else. She had everything he wanted, always had.

"I'd like to be, Ash," he told her, with quiet honesty. "I can't see myself with anybody else."

That answer seemed to satisfy her, and make her happy.

"That's good," she smiled. "I'd hate to have to punch out whichever table dancing tart is throwing herself at you this time."

"A woman in a tight suit isn't exactly what I need," he returned, slowly.

"I knew I liked you for a reason—you sure know how to pick them." Ashley inched closer to him. "Now get over here."

A slow, easy grin stretched across Shepard's face at her forcefulness, something he appreciated greatly, but he held back to get his words out.

"So demanding."

"You like me that way, remember? Something about a challenge?" she reminded him.

Unable to help himself any longer, Shepard took the finalstep towards her and reached for her waist to gently draw her near. "You'll have to remind me on that one," he tried to encourage her.

He felt her breath on his lips.

"Yes, _sir_."

When their lips melded confidently together for the first time in three years - it was perfectly easy. This was new and different, yet old and _familiar_. He gloried in the softness of her. The smell of her. The taste of her. Acting on memory alone, Shepard's hand cupped her jaw, slid under her ear and held her close. Giving back everything in equal measure, Ashley's hand rested on his chest, while the other found the back of his neck, pulling gently.

Too soon for his liking, Ashley slowly pulled away, and peered over his left shoulder, casting her eyes around the room cautiously, then looked back to him with a small smile.

"Nothing like creating an embarrassing display of public affection, huh?"

"We're not the only one's who's doing it," Shepard reasoned, smiling back at her.

"Doesn't mean we should keep doing it. _Here_, I mean… it's bad for business," she made the futile attempt to conceal her amusement, but failed miserably.

"Too late. We just did," he deadpanned.

"No regrets here," she whispered, and kissed him briefly, reinforcing those words. "But let's try to keep this joint classy."

Shepard loosened his grip on Ash, letting her slip from his arms as she back away from him, grinning. They took their seats again, ordered drinks, and talked quietly, but mostly just taking in each other's presence. She seemed genuinely glad to see him—be with him, and it warmed him. Every so often she looked at him in _that _way and he once again found himself catapulted into the past. Memories of dinners in the mess, quiet talks about family in the garage, everything that led them to this moment. So much had happened between them, that he can barely remember it all. But it was nice to have a spare moment. A small breather. For the past 46 hours it had been touch and go after _barely_ claiming victory on Rannoch. However, for the rest of the crew - celebration was in order.

"So… who tipped you off about me not sleeping?" Shepard asked her, casually as they sat. He remember her e-mail earlier all to well.

"Nobody, it just shows on your face," she answered with a point. "It seems like everyone's struggling to get some shut eye these days. But… I'm beginning to think you don't sleep, like ever."

"Thank you for noticing." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "And what about you? You sleeping, Ash?"

"I get enough." Ashley looked in the direction of the spiralling smoke. "Lot's of stuff to think about."

"There certainly is," he reflected.

She turned back to him, and raised an eyebrow.

"How many hours sleep do you actually get per night? And be honest," she asked.

"You think I would lie about something as simple as that?" he defended.

In the process of taking a small drink, Ashley froze the bottle mere inches from her lips to smirk.

"Hey, no dodging the question either," she warned him.

Shepard thought about it for a moment. Then informed her truthfully, "Generally, about two or three. Four if I'm lucky."

Ashley didn't look alarmed or impressed. "You're supposed to be getting six, at least. I should write you up for that."

He gave a sighing, half-laugh. "You should."

Ashley stared into her drink, thoughtfully. "I don't think I'd survive long on three hours of sleep per night."

"I get by."

She stared at him. "Yeah, just about."

It's hard enough for Shepard to convince himself to sit down a relax like this, never mind sleep. Just then, he pushed the guilt away, the needling voice in the back of his head that was constantly reminding him that he shouldn't be here in the first place, that he should be doing something - anything that would be in someway of assistance. But he can't lie, right now he could definitely use the reassurance of her easy smile and warm brown eyes. So instead, he focused on challenging her verbally, as he's been known to do.

"What can I say? It's too quiet at night without you, Ash."

She smirked, "Well, we'll have to change that, won't we, John?"

"John?" Shepard was amused.

"What? That is your name, isn't it?"

"It _is_ my name. But it seems like nobody calls me that. In fact, Chakwas actually told me she down-right refuses to."

Curiousness crossed her face. "Why's that?"

He shrugged. "She thinks it's disrespectful, or something along those lines."

Ashley stared at him, blankly. "I don't get it."

"Me either."

"Yeah… that makes no sense, _John."_

""I like the way you say that," he admitted.

Ashley couldn't help herself. "Is that all you like?"

"You know it isn't; now you're really fishing," he pointed out.

Ashley laughed at that. It was great to hear. It had been awhile since he'd heard her laughter, and Shepard indulged in this moment of normalcy between them, happy that despite everything that's happened between them in the last few months, both good and bad, they can still steal a moment to laugh together; a pure occurrence between two people, untainted by all the crap they go through on a daily basis.

"Damn, and here I was trying to be subtle," she laughed.

"You, subtle?" He smiled. "That's Impossible, Lieutenant."

At his comment, Ashley shrugged nonchalantly, and took a sip of her beer. "Well, I tried."

"There is one thing I've been wondering about you, though," he confessed.

Ash gazed at him expectantly. "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"How'd you climb the ranks so fast? Normally it takes longer. The Alliance likes to wait around before handing out the promotions."

"It is unusual, isn't it?" Ashley shrugged once before she gave him the explanation. "Mainly it was Anderson's doing. He was the big man calling the big shots at the time, and as soon as he got Hackett's approval he made it happen. It didn't happen all at once, though. It's not like I just hopped from 'Operations Chief' to 'Lt. Commander' inside a few days."

"But instead, a few years?" Shepard teased, lightly.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"They've held you back long enough, Ash." Shepard got a little defensive. "About time they gave you what you deserve."

"It's not important," she sighed, heavily. "Right now, there's bigger things than rank going on."

"I'd say your Spectre title makes a difference?"

She nodded, _yeah_. "I'll admit, it get's me what I need. But it's not what I really wanted to do in the first place, and here I am - doing it," she finished, with another small shrug. "Crazy times."

"You'll do fine," he assured her, confidently.

"I hope so. Don't wanna let anymore people down."

He shook his head. "That's not what you need to worry about - you need to worry about getting the job done, that's it. Not who's toes you step on to achieve that."

"I know, you're right," she nodded.

The conversation had become slightly tense there he noticed, so Shepard changed the subject and fired another question at her. After all, he wanted to know these things about her. Three years had passed. A lot could of happened within that space of time, important things.

"So how'd you end up in Vancouver?" he asked next.

"Anderson," she said again. "Yeah, he wanted me to be there, put in a good word for you. I was… nervous about that. I tried to visit, but nobody could get within a metre to you except Vega, Anderson, and the rest of the armchair heroes."

"They did have me secured pretty soundly."

"Okay, okay, enough about the job. Geez, is that all you ever talk about? We're supposed to be _unwinding_" she stretched the word out.

"I like your hair, suits you," he complimented, smoothly.

A laugh came up from her throat, and she lightly punched his shoulder.

"About damn time you mentioned it."

Shepard smiled and looked at her fondly. "This was a good idea, Ash."

"Yeah, sure was," she agreed. "Nice to get a way from the war for a while. I do feel a little guilty, though."

Time seemed to slip by them within the blink of any eye, and it seemed nothing could diminish his enjoyment of the evening. They had spent the dinner chatting as friends do, bickering as old lovers do. It was good to see her let loose for once and do it all for the now. Lately, it was something that didn't happen as often as it should, because of their unhealthy habit of pushing their bodies to the limit all too often. Shepard was aware he wasn't particularly good company these days, but Ash seemed to bring it out of him even in the dire moments.

_Fancy_ wine wasn't really for them, but when the suggestion came up, sounding very similar to that of dare - it didn't stop them from ordering it and downing the contents of the purchased bottle. They had shared it slowly, ignorant of the dirty looks the employees were giving them for occupying the table when they wanted to clear up and go home.

They were the last people to leave the cafe, drifting along the wards afterwards. As they slowly walked, Shepard had his arm wrapped around her waist, keeping her close in case Ashley got any ambitious ideas on the way back. At this stage, he could tell that Ashley was a little bit out of it. There was more alcohol in his system, than hers, and all he felt was a vague sense of having to take a piss soon. Finally, having had enough of the aimless wondering through the wards, they eventually headed back to ship.

When they arrived back, Ashley giggled uncontrollably as she unlocked Shepard's cabin door and fell inside. John followed behind her, grinning stupidly. Straight away, he realised she was heading straight for the couch. He watched in awe and great amusement as she shimmied her way there, nodding her head and dancing to a song only she could hear. A lot of was uncertain, but one thing was for sure, tomorrow morning he would never let her live this down.

"You know what?" Ashley asked him conversationally, spinning around and carelessly plumping herself down on the leather couch. "Have you ever noticed how alcohol gives courage? It's inspiring. We could use some more of it on the front lines, Captain. Or at least on deck."

Shepard couldn't help but laugh, as he walked over to her. "Yeah, drunken courage. That you'll regret later on when you sober up."

"Stop lecturing." Ashley pulled him by the arm, directing him to sit, and he did.

"I'm not. But isn't that usually how it goes?"

"No, it isn't," she said, and threw her legs over his lap.

"I find that hard to believe, when I found you on the floor last time you drained a bottle."

She didn't reply, just made a face, and took a slow swig of her drink.

Shepard laughed, and squeezed her leg. "Don't worry, I won't hold it against you."

Ashley angled to look back at him. "You're a good guy, you know."

The words hung suspended in the air between them as they stared at each other quietly. That comment surprised Sheppard a little, and he realized very quickly that he wasn't sure how to reply to that. In a semi-drunk state, Ashley studied him a long moment, her expression a confusion of emotion—hesitant happiness, he thought. Looking at him steadily, she admitted, "And I really don't want to screw this up."

Shepard sat up. "Then let's try not to," he said with quiet conviction. Trying to keep his answer as simple as possible.

Ashley smiled grimly, "You forget what a talent I have for screwing up my life."

"I don't think you've screwed up anything," Shepard told her sincerely.

"You're forgetting who you're talking to," she said with a disbelieving scoff.

Shepard gave Ashley a hard look, which proved futile. She wasn't taking anything from it.

"Believe me, I know who I'm talking to. But she's had one too many."

"_She_ is just fine, actually."

"Where'd this come from? You're all over the place." Shepard took her hands in his, rubbing his thumb reassuringly over hers. "What's this about?" he coaxed.

"It's hard to explain," Ashley let out a gusty sigh, and Shepard noticed her the increasing pressure of her hand tightening ever so slightly around his. Whatever she needed to get off her chest, Shepard was ready to hear it. He knew exactly how difficult it must be for her to open up to someone, especially him and he doesn't take it for granted, hanging on every word.

"Try me," he offered.

Ash averted her eyes, to their hands. She was quiet a moment, as she considered it. "I've got this good record of mucking things up," she started, and already Shepard wanted to intervene, remind her of all the good she's done, but he held back and patiently waited for her to finish, anticipating her next words. "I'm on a roll with that, actually. Walking disaster—that's me."

"You're not," Shepard interjected.

She ignored him, and continued, undaunted. "I'm me, and you're _you_."

She stated it like there was some huge difference between them that he was incapable of seeing. They've been through the same shit, and he knows what she's getting at, knows it's the weighted guilt that comes from doing what they do. Those pile of regrets that every long-term marine has, and if you let it, they'll slowly break you. But Shepard knows that's not a fate that'll happen to Ash. She'll keep fighting, even if she has nothing left.

"Ash, I make mistakes just like everyone else."

"That's not what I meant. What I'm saying is—you've kept me on the rails. You are the guy who has seen the worst parts of me—everything, good stuff, bad stuff, weird stuff and," Ashley laughed there, causing Shepard to roll his eyes at her. _The alcohol was really talking now. _"You still put up with me. Seriously, who's paying you?"

She disguised it well as a joke, but Shepard still got the message.

"I've tried to be there for every single one of my crew, Ash. Why should you be any different?"

Ashley let out a tight, humourless chuckle, that's unlike her and held up her beer. "Can I have more?"

"No," he declined quickly. "Ash…" Shepard trailed off and sighed, slightly exasperated. "You were standing beside me from the very start, you were there when my life changed. And you're standing beside me _right now _when others aren't. I don't hold it against those people, I understand. And I don't hold anything against you. We'll work it out _together_, and we'll get better." He nodded towards her bottle and added, "You've just got to quit the drink."

"Fat chance." she quipped.

"You don't think you've had enough?"

"I think you need to catch up sir," she replied.

Gently, Shepard took the quarter-full bottle from her hand and placed it on the coffee table in front of them before inching himself closer to her and taking her face in his hands. Ash's eyes smiled at him as she subconsciously licked her lips. Slowly, he lowered his mouth to hers, feeling their breaths mingle together from their close proximity. They both savoured the moment until he couldn't wait another second, and then his mouth descended completely on hers.

When her mouth curled into a smile, welcoming his kiss and gently returning the gesture, Shepard hands suddenly found their way into her soft, fragrant hair. Naturally, the kiss deepened, and through his spiralling senses, John managed to notice that Ashley had somehow shifted her way completely on to his lap, straddling him.

Soon they wrestled and pushed and pulled against each other, desperately trying to pull the other into their own bodies, until air became an issue, forcing them to separate. Their faces were a mere breathe apart, he swallowed and kissed her lips a few times. Tasted their drinks from earlier on her full, pink lips.

Shepard studied her for a moment. "You're drunk," he whispered.

"Not really," she answered with a sexy pant.

Nudging her chin up with his nose, his lips fastened to the throbbing pulse in her throat. The smell of her skin leaving him absolutely breathless.

"You are," he mumbled, lowly. He probably should have stopped, instead of leading it on any further, but he couldn't help himself. She was so irresistible. He had Ashley Williams back again, after everything. And it felt real. And lasting.

Ashley breathed a sigh, her voracious desire for him shining in her eyes as she directed his head up to kiss her again. Her hands went to his face, and she held him in place to prevent that teasing separation. They seemed to never separate. Even when angling and switching sides.

Eager hands then began to roam up and down his chest. Shepard wanted to feel her hands all over him. She let them venture down between them to rest them on his thighs. Sliding beneath his standard Alliance shirt, she caressed the side of his bare flanks then his back.

As he held her to him, his hold loosened. He realized she wasn't going anywhere. The intensity melted away. Their lips broke apart for air, followed a soft, lingering peck. Which led to another. Then several more. By now he could most definitely feel his expansion, his blood was on fire. There was already heated tension building within him, the cause of being flushed against each other, moving against each other in a natural longing of what they both needed next. Shepard was feeling it. _Had _been feeling it.

Eyes never leaving hers, his back sunk back into the sofa, not at all bothering to stop her slow travelling hand. John's hands loosened around her waist, went _so_ slow across her lower back as he leaned in with, "Come on…"

"What?" she asked breathlessly.

"Let's get you in to bed," he clarified.

"Is that an order, Captain?"

"As a matter of fact, it is, L.C."

At first, Ashley was slightly reluctant to obey. It had taken some gentle pressure, but eventually they had fallen into bed together. Ash had located something of his to sleep in from the pile of laundry and had changed in front of him as he sat on the end of his bed. Shepard had followed her example, changing and slipping into bed before her. He had thrown the covers back to invite her to join him.

Last nights 'comfortable' had involved getting as close to him as she could and letting him stroke her until she fell asleep - that didn't take long, it was practically effortless. The quiet companionship of the evening ritual was new to him, he was more used to collapsing, utterly exhausted, into bed by himself. It was times like this Shepard missed in life and, as he thought about it, he realised it was one he could definitely get used to.

* * *

A/N: I'm not all that happy with this, however I posted it anyway. Someone out there might like it.

…Part 2? Hungover Ash? =)


	2. Chapter 2

In the morning, Shepard was laying on his back one hand behind his head as he stared above at the skylight. He had a corner of the covers draped over him, the only section that Ash hadn't claimed during the night.

The last few days had been frantic and he wanted nothing more than to have a day to relax and regroup. Although, it was early yet, the chances of his wish happening were already slim to none. Last night had played out great, and for once he felt normal. Over time and through war, he had forgotten how it felt like to live life carefree. Even if it was only for a night, it had been a welcomed change of pace. Now it was different. He knew today would be another slow blur, as he prepared the ship and team for their next operation. He had a lot of checking, calculating and collecting to do before they took off, and truthfully he wasn't looking forward to the boredom and frustration that came along with it.

Just then, he felt the woman beside him stir, interrupting his thoughts. She groaned and buried her face in the pillow.

Smiling at her misfortunate, he respectfully stayed silent. Granting her a moment of quiet, as she did a quick check of her physical status, before properly waking up. Waking up from a boozy night with an impending hangover in the morning was always rough. He had been in that predicament many times himself, and knew very well what it felt like. It wasn't pretty. He felt pity for her, so the teasing would have to wait until later, when she could handle it without going off on him.

Ash reached out a hand behind her, exploring the bed. Then, she ran her hand down his arm until she found the hand at the end of it. Ashley's felt out the hand she held, almost as if checking its identity. His hand clasped hers and both sets of fingers intertwined. They both indulged in the gentle touch for awhile longer, before Ash turned around to face him.

She studied him sleepily for a moment.

"Hey, you."

He smiled. "Morning. How's the head?

"Not too bad."

Ashley turned towards him, coming to lay on her side as she burrowed next to him, getting as close as she could, wrapping her arm around his waist. As his arms encircled his sleeping partner, he felt the last of tension he was previously feeling leave him. He gathered her in his arms, stroking her back lightly, and pulled her close to maximise the contact and the comfort it brought.

"Uh, you're not very talkative. What did I do?"

"Nothing." Shepard paused for a moment before taking a deep breath and continuing. "You're suffering - that's why."

"Oh, I'm not that bad. Just a little groggy."

"You want water or anything?"

"_Please_."

Shepard slipped his arm out from under her, and Ashley sighed, rolled over slightly, and buried her back in the mattress. One of his hands planted itself on the floor for leverage, as he hung slightly off the side in search. Without leaving the bed, John managed to open his bedside unit to fetch a purified bottle of mineral water for Ash.

He pushed himself back up from the floor and handed it to her. "Here. Drink up."

Ashley sat upright as she received it. "Thanks," she nodded gratefully, unscrewing the cap and drank deeply.

Shepard lay back down and raised his hands, scrubbing calloused palms across his face. He stopped when Ash stretched, arching her back like a cat before relaxing back onto him, her water now on the table at the other side of the bed having quenched her thirst. They lay in lazy silence a while, neither wanting to move before they had to. John marvelled at how natural it felt already. It felt like she's letting him back in, letting him see what's really going on behind the bright façade she puts up for almost everyone else.

"Looks like you wasted no time getting me into your bed," Ashley observed, amusedly.

"Nothing happened," he defended himself.

She smirked, "You think I don't know that?"

Curiosity struck him. "Tell me, what do you remember of last night?"

"I remember everything. I had a good time," she told him, innocently.

He laughed, languidly. "That all?"

He let his hands slip under her T-shirt and stroked her soft skin as he tested his luck. She didn't complain, just hummed quietly at his touch.

"Mm-hmm, yeah. I'm pretty sure you did, too."

"I did," he smiled.

Ashley took a heavy breath. "Feel lighter now," she said in a half-whisper. "I mean, after our talk yesterday." She laughed quietly, shifting just so that her chin rested on his chest. "Being put on the spot seemed to make all the difference in the world."

"Feel like we cleared the air?" he asked.

"Fog free," she confirmed.

"Good. But…" Shepard caught the fabric of the shirt she wore between his thumb and finger. "I'm gonna have to ask for this back now."

She grinned, broadly. "Thanks for letting me borrow it."

He returned the look. "You're welcome."

Shepard kissed her on the forehead affectionately before making the tremendous effort to get up. He swung his legs off the bed and allowed the movement to pull him upright.

He regretted it instantly.

His head swam, and his hands clasped on to the side of the mattress as he tried to regain control of his bearings.

"Can't you just be lazy with me for awhile?" she asked.

By no means did they sleep in, and so, Shepard was so very tempted to say yes, to hell with it. But this was bigger than him now, and more important than ever. He's the one with this responsibility. He needed to work.

John shook his head, ruefully. "I can't."

Ash playfully pushed her luck. "If I can't have your body, can _I_ at least have five more minutes?"

He sighed and scratched the back of his head, "Does my answer really matter?"

He heard the smile in her voice and the rustle of covers as she tucked back in, "No."

Shepard stood up in his boxer covered form, knowing exactly where her gaze was pin-pointed on right now. He rolled his eyes at the thought.

"Five minutes. No more, or I'll drag your ass out of bed, Williams."

"Aye-aye, _sir_. And… nice ass by the way."


End file.
